Tag: emotional intelligence

Better Isn’t Always Best: How to Know What’s Right for You

There comes a point in life when experience becomes your sharpest filter. At 50, I’ve learned that better isn’t always best. Just because something feels improved doesn’t mean it’s right for you—or good for your future.

In the days of old Gran Colombia, a region that once included Venezuela, Colombia, and Ecuador, there was a well-known phrase:

“La ley se acata pero no se cumple.”
The law is obeyed, but not fulfilled.

People acknowledged the law but often ignored it. They heard it, but they did not live by it. Sometimes this was rebellion. Other times it was survival. In many cases, it was wisdom earned through experience.

I saw this firsthand in South America, where people would run red lights late at night. Not because they were reckless, but because stopping made them vulnerable to robbery or worse. In moments like that, strict obedience could cost you your safety. Context mattered.

This same principle applies far beyond laws.

A Real Story from Ecuador

I lived in Ecuador for a year as part of a study abroad program with students from Oregon. One student stood out. We’ll call her Julie. She was blonde, bubbly, and visibly different from most of the local population.

Julie met a local man who was charming, attentive, and charismatic. Before long, marriage was on the table.

I asked her why she felt so certain.

“He is so much better than my ex,” she said.

Her ex had been physically and verbally abusive. And that was the problem.

Pain had become her point of reference.

Better than your worst does not mean best for your future.

I shared my perspective carefully. I explained that comparing a new relationship to trauma sets the bar dangerously low. Julie deserved more than “not abusive.” She deserved what was right for her long-term growth.

In the end, she made her decision.

They married, moved back to the United States, had a child, and later divorced.

I’m not telling this story to say I was right. I’m sharing it because too often we confuse comfort for clarity and relief for alignment.

Why “Better Isn’t Always Best” in Everyday Life

We all do it.

We compare ourselves to the wealthier person.
There’s the new car, the vacation photos, the growing follower count.
What we don’t see is what’s behind the filter.

Some of the same influencers we admire are breaking down, going broke, or silently drowning in pressure. We see the success, not the sacrifice. The surface, not the cost.

But the truth is, better isn’t always best. Especially when the choice is based on shallow comparisons, past pain, or fear of being alone. We chase progress by looking backward, and that rarely leads to alignment. The appearance of improvement doesn’t guarantee the reality of it.

This is why filtering advice and measuring growth requires clarity—not comparison.

Advice Is Not Truth Until It Is Filtered

As a father, I give advice to my young adult children. I also understand that advice only works when it is chosen, not forced.

The same is true for all of us.

Advice must be filtered.

You must decide if what sounds better is actually right, because better isn’t always best, even when it’s popular advice. What feels good isn’t always what builds you. What feels familiar isn’t always what frees you.

Here’s how to filter what you hear:

  1. Does this advice align with your values, or someone else’s fears?
  2. Does it enrich your life, or simply sound comforting?
  3. Can you trace real results from this advice, or is it just theory?

Good advice is not always pleasant. But it is always constructive.

Your Challenge

Pause before your next decision.

Consider whether you’re choosing from your future or reacting to your past. Are you trying to impress—or to progress? And is the option in front of you truly right, or just better than something that once hurt you?

Better can still be wrong. It is just more comfortable.

Final Thought: Better Isn’t Always Best in the End

Success is not about choosing what looks better.
It is about choosing what is right for you and having the courage to live with that choice.

In the end, better isn’t always best. What matters is what aligns with your future, your values, and your long-term purpose. Choosing what feels familiar or looks safer can keep you trapped in the same cycles you’re trying to grow beyond.

Your life is not built through comparison.
It is built through conviction.

CALL TO ACTION

To explore more insights on growth, clarity, wealth, and legacy, or to discuss how these strategies apply to your life or business, contact Mark Pinilla directly.

🌐 MarkPinilla.com
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Who You Invite to the Table Shapes Your Legacy

I once wrote to a group of powerful women:

“You are not just building a life—you are building a legacy. And every legacy begins… at a table.”

That message still holds truth. It challenged readers to be intentional with their inner circle. To protect their energy. To choose people who stretch them, sharpen them, and dream even bigger alongside them.

It was a message of discernment—reminding us that not everyone deserves a seat.

But that was only one side of the equation.

Who’s Missing From the Table?

After you clear out distraction, drama, and misalignment, you face a deeper question: Who’s not at the table that should be?

Most of us gather people who reflect our comfort zone. We invite those who look like us, think like us, and affirm our ideas. While this feels natural, it limits our growth.

More importantly, it often causes us to miss the voices that would complete our vision.

Legacy Requires Both Energies

Let’s talk about what most tables are missing: balance.

In particular, we need to blend testosterone and estrogen—not just in gender, but in energy and approach.

Testosterone brings drive, direction, and execution. It accelerates movement.

Estrogen offers insight, emotional intelligence, and relational depth. It strengthens the foundation.

When testosterone dominates, things move fast—but may burn out. When estrogen stands alone, things feel grounded—but may hesitate to scale.

However, when these forces collaborate, we get both momentum and meaning. We create the chemistry that fuels legacy.

A Challenge to Men

If every voice at your table sounds like yours, you’re not leading a team—you’re stuck in an echo chamber.

And echo chambers don’t evolve. They collapse.

You need women at the table. Not to check a box, but because they bring depth you cannot create on your own. They elevate strategy with empathy. They turn movement into meaning.

Their presence isn’t a liability. It’s an advantage.

A Challenge to Women

You’ve already shown you can lead, execute, and rise.

Still, legacy isn’t built in isolation. Collaboration doesn’t diminish your brilliance—it amplifies it.

Yes, surround yourself with strong women. But also make space for men who see your strength, support your vision, and collaborate without controlling.

You’re not waiting for permission. But sometimes, you are waiting for alignment. And that requires courageous connection.

Reframing My Original Message

In my original writing, I said:

“No one comes to my table who does not add value to my life.”

That still stands.

This was always clear to me—but it wasn’t the point I was making then. That message was about protecting your space. This one is about expanding it.

Because value doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it walks in quietly. Sometimes it challenges you. And sometimes, it looks nothing like what you expected—but it changes everything.

A great team is made up of people who challenge, not just compliment.

They shift your perspective, question your assumptions, and make you better—not just busier.

Build With Intention, Not Comfort

You don’t rise to the level of your goals.
You fall to the level of your circle.

That’s why I intentionally include women at my table. Women who challenge with clarity, who sharpen with wisdom, who don’t just speak—but speak into what we’re building.

With them, it’s not about dominance or control. It’s about collaboration and creation.

Legacy isn’t built in echo chambers. It’s built in tension, trust, and truth.

Let’s Build Something That Lasts

If you’re ready to build that kind of table—not just to grow, but to grow with purpose—this is the work I do every day.

As a speaker, mentor, and trainer, I help individuals and organizations build teams rooted in values, vision, and legacy. Because success that stands alone fades. But success that lifts others with it? That becomes legacy.

Whether I’m coaching on intentional leadership, facilitating team development, or walking leaders through the NAHREP 10 Disciplines, my mission stays the same:

To help you build a life, a business, and a team that lasts.

You don’t need more noise.
You need alignment.
You need people who stretch your capacity, not drain it.
You need a circle that reflects your future—not your past.

That’s legacy work. And that’s what I do.

Learn more at www.markpinilla.com
Connect with me on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/markpinilla
Follow my journey on Instagram: @markpinilla

Let’s build the kind of team—and table—that shapes generations.